God Loves My Children More Than I Do
In September of 2016, our family changed forever. We brought home two wonderful kids. Overnight, we went from just Amy and I to now a family of 4. We had a 5-year-old and a 1 year old. What we thought would be an easy process to adopt them both, turned out to be extremely difficult and honestly painful. With one phone call the whole adoption timeline was turned on its head. This process dragged out in the courts and we understood the reality of this fragile situation.
For over two years, we clung to a truth about God that was etched in my mind. Here is what I learned:
- God loves Joshua more than I do.
- God loves Katen more than I do.
- God loves my children more than I do.
We had to come to the reality that God loved Joshua and Katen more than we did. There was nothing we could do to protect them. The situation was not in our hands. No amount of sleepless nights would change the situation. God’s love had to be clarified in my mind. God cares a whole lot for them! I love them a lot imperfectly but he loves them infinitely more perfectly.
As parents, we want what is best for our children. We want them to have good friends at school. We want an amazing vacation with lots of good memories. We want a great sports season where they get plenty of playing time and winning the tournament would be a cherry on top. Unfortunately, these dreams sometimes get dashed. Vacations get rained on, friend groups change, and the sports season abruptly ends with an injury. We genuinely want what is best for our kids and often try to shield them from negative experiences, but this is not always possible. Our love for them attempts to set them up for success but we cannot always secure that perfectly.
I think I know what is best for my children. I try to love them as best as possible. My love for my kids would have never taken us down this twisting path but God loves them far more than I ever will. God’s plan and love is perfect. There was a whole lot that God was teaching me and our family through the painful journey. It was not the path we expected or wanted but it was what we needed to show us that, God loves my children more than I do.